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Are there other ways in which narcissistic rage manifests besides yelling and arguing?

 Are there other ways in which narcissistic rage manifests besides yelling and arguing?


Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Yes, the rage can manifest itself in the worst way imaginable.

Silence.

But oh no, not the silence you they use as punishment during a normal drag you down cycle. This one is special.

In the immediate moments after a narcissistic injury is sustained and their emotions become dysregulated there can almost be a frantic grasping at reasons and connecting of events to outcomes that never even occurred all with the sole purpose of offloading as much fault and blame onto you as possible. Its almost like the shame meter hits a tipping point and there is an overspilling of shame that has to go somewhere so it is going to you. You will be blamed for things that you were not even present for and deals/agreements made will be completely spun another way to place you as a doer of wrongs. You might get told to never talk to them again or they will file a restraining order on you - they might even go so far as to attack you in the instant. When emotions are dysregulated anything can happen…things are that out of control.

What can happen next is silence. You’ve been discarded - its as though you are dead and when you try to contact them your spirit medium just can’t manage to hold the connection long enough for you to get your message through or for you to get a feel for where their head is at. While you’re still trying to get your feet under you and maybe even trying to apologize for the fight that wasn’t your fault. You have no idea that they are doing everything in their power to attack you and make you look crazy.

Things they might do can range from:

  • Call your family and tell them that you’ve flipped out and are a risk. That they should have you locked up for an assessment.
  • Any dirty secrets about your job might suddenly come out. You may find yourself on the hotseat with an employer.
  • Any nasty secrets with regards to friends and family will come out with the intent of isolating you. Being the entire family is likely avoidant it doesn’t take much and none of them will give you the time of day.
  • The children will be told lies and will be rewarded for supporting your ex and punished for wanting to spend time with you. Then, suddenly they will stop wanting anything to do with you in order to have peace in their life.
  • The police will be told about anything you have done which could land you in court.

Basically anything and everything that can compromise you, hurt you emotionally, hurt you physically, and financially is on the table. They will go after this vengeance with such a fury that you’ll feel like hell has come to earth and this is your own private armageddon.

Meanwhile, you hear silence. Your calls are not answered, your texts and emails are not responded to. So you keep trying - waiting for them to cool off enough that they finally answer the phone and you can talk matters through like adults.

Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door and when you open it up there are two police men there taking paint samples off of your car from when the dent was put in it and your spouse said they accidentally rubbed up against a parking meter. They charge you with hit and run and your court date is in 2 months….but fear not, there is lots more adventure coming still that you have no idea about. So….confused, you try phoning the significant other again.

No answer….just silence.

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