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The covert narcissist is dangerous indeed, but the covert malignant narcissist is the thing that nightmares get made of.
These creatures look just like everyone else. You can work beside one for years and if they are within control of themselves and don’t have a job that dysregulates them very easily then you may never know that what a menace they truly are. That is, until you cross them.
It may be something unexpected. You may write them a card on their work anniversary, and you may tell them how important they are to the department. You may say some really kind things to them in that letter thinking that they’ll appreciate the acknowledgment and the kind words. Only, for some reason they had got a bad review and it hit them particularly bad. So bad in fact that when they read what you said their paranoia kicked in and they immediately thought that you were trying to get them fired.
In fact, they were so certain that the bad review must have been precipitated by you that they began rooting through old emails and information about you that they had kicking around. The whole time this person is telling themself you are trying to get them fired and within a short period of time, this person would pass a lie detector test stating that you were trying to get them terminated and you were the reason that they got a bad review.
So, from a mile away they look down their veritable sniper scope and see your head in the cross hairs. No, they decide you are project material, and they are just going to make sure that you feel all the pain that they did when they got that terrible review that you caused them. No, this shot is going to be a limb.
‘Sandy,’ you hear Bill say as you look up from your desk. ‘Sandy, I don’t want you ever coming near my home or my family again. You’re disgusting to me. You are the worst friend and a total pathological liar.’
You sit stunned wondering ‘what the hell was that all about?’ You dare not ask though as it’s clear the entire office heard, and you just want to keep things as quiet as possible until you can find out what was wrong with Bill.
After a few weeks of office gossiping, you find out that a conversation you had a month prior at the staff meeting was taken way out of context and twisted into something completely different. It could have been anyone that did it, but the rumor is that you had planned on doing something nasty to Bill’s wife and children. Half the office is standoffish with you now and the other half is nice but on edge.
Boom - another shot.
This time your mortal fear of crickets comes right full frontal with you. The ladies' bathroom is suddenly infested with crickets. Although annoying to the other women in the office they largely ignore them because they scamper off as soon as the light comes on, but you’ve got this weird reaction which makes you nearly vomit when you see one.
Suddenly, the bathroom is a dangerous place for you to go and so you avoid it as much as you can now, causing you one day to pee your pants when you had to jump over a small hole on the floor where some contractors were installing printer wire. It was extremely embarrassing as you hear your nickname is now piddles.
Years go on like this with your assignments disappearing, with your phone calls being deleted from your answering service, your emails seem to have important letters that you never receive - all because you have the habit of leaving your workstation open when you go for lunch and at breaks which leaves your machine unattended for at least 10 minutes 3 times per day. Your covert malignant narcissist picked up the pattern and so you’ve been feeding him all the info available for him to screw with your private life (changing calendar dates on important family appointments, at work (deleting boss’ emails) etc.
Boom - head shot. One day, the boss gets fed up with you and your finally fired.
By this time, it’s been 4 years of constant bad luck and you’re a frazzled wreck that can’t seem to keep anything organized, you can’t seem to remember to hand in assignments on time, you do everything wrong, and you don’t know how you got so bad. You’re literally a wreck and you feel like you’re losing your mind.
A covert narcissist can feign empathy and they can self-deprecate which gives the illusion that they are humble and caring. You may have no idea that they are a covert narcissist until you see their interests threatened by someone else. Even still, they may hide it well enough that you can’t truly see how badly they are bothered by something.
The covert malignant narcissists will focus on you, and they will do everything in their power to have you unravel and to put you into a shell of who you formerly will and the sinister part of it all is, is that they won’t ever be exposed. It will be other people that beat the crap out of you verbally, and it will be weird coincidences that make you look stupid or screw you over.
Never will they reveal that they knew you tried to get them fired - but they sure made you pay.
You silly fool
e; you won't even realize for