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The Narcissists Trap

 

The Narcissists Trap

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

You can almost hear them laughing at you in the aftermath. The greatest trick the narcissist will ever pull on you is a nasty manipulation which will make you feel like you are a fool in the aftermath each and every time it happens

The narcissist will hang on your every word to find out your most precious desires and your biggest weaknesses. When they find those precious desires they will hold onto them tight waiting for that moment where you’re tired of dealing with them.

You can go off in a tirade about what it is that they are doing wrong and you know that they know what they did wrong. A 5 year old child would know that their behavior is unacceptable.

So, you launch into your list of ethical, moral or boundary breaking activities that they have done and then you’ll start gearing up yourself to punish them when suddenly, they are saying all of the right things. Those desires for decent treatment, those desires for you to have someone that cares about you, the desires to have this person be there for you are stated in the clear as definitive ‘I will’ type statements.

You start thinking to yourself, ‘finally, they got the message and it’s sinking in. Thank God.’ only no sooner is the conversation over and you go to sleep thinking everything is good, you wake up the next day and find that literally nothing has changed. Everything is exactly as it was. They never moved an inch or changed a thing.

So you give it a few days and during these few days they keep bringing things up which annoy you. These are little flaws or some details around something that drive you crazy. They’ll keep bringing them up, saying those insults, or repeating those behaviors and it’ll grate at your nerves.

Finally, you have enough again and you’re packing a bag this time and you’re ready to walk out the door when suddenly there they are saying all fo the right things again. You think to yourself ‘finally, they get it. They see the value in me and they are going to be decent to me now.’ only, by the afternoon the exact same behavior creeps back in.

Narcissists use your hope as a trap. Your hope is what keeps you stuck in your own personal hell as they continue to dangle what it is you want and love in front of you. You’ll never get it. It will always be out of reach and because it’s a need for you it will lock you in this pursuit of attaining your needs as they emotionally starve you to keep you trying.

The thing is — they know what you need but they do not provide it on purpose. They intentionally starve you of your needs because that will keep you putting in effort and trying while they do the bare minimum in the relationship.

Their lies are all you have and every time you open one up you see that it doesn’t have what you need in it — just more of the same crap. Leave the parasite.

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