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Psychopaths and Love

 

Psychopaths and Love

One thing I’ve heard a lot about from psychopaths is that the person they fall in love with tend to have specific traits that are rare — but they love those traits specifically because of what it gives to the psychopath — thereby not actually loving the person for who they are but more what they provide. Those traits are typically:

  1. Someone that will put up with their shit because they know they see themselves as above the law and don’t have follow the rules that they expect everyone else to follow — it is very rare finding someone that will have this trait but its not the person that is loved its the fact that the person won’t leave while they treat them like garbage.
  2. The person is mentally resilient enough to put up with the ‘boredom’ tortures that the psychopath unleashes on them. When they get bored its like acid in the veins and for some reason nearly universally, it’s attacking the psychology or causing reactions out of their partner because it entertains them. Finding someone who will put up with torture to eliminate someone else’s boredom is near impossible but again, it’s not the person that is valued its the fact that they can be abused and won’t leave.
  3. Someone who is a listener. Often psychopaths like to feed their grandiosity by doing all of the talking and they want someone who will just listen when its time for them to just listen and the psychopath wants to be able to pick when they are a good listener which is always.
  4. Someone that will be complacent with the psychopath doing whatever they want when abandoning their spouse for days or weeks at a time with no explanation. They also want to be able to walk right back into the life of that person, whenever they see fit to do so. Again, its a door mat that they look for.
  5. They want a door mat that will resist and argue but will ultimately give in to the psychopath once they decide they are done with a conversation or fight. They like the fight and the challenge of it, but in the end what they really want is their way. The person has to be prepared to be the perpetual loser in the relationship. They must be content to be the one that never comes out on top when the two’s interests are competing.
  6. Psychopaths want a person that can independently soothe their own emotions. They do not want to get in a relationship with someone that is emotionally unstable and expects some type of emotional nurturing from them. They don’t want clingy lovers they want ‘detached and at my convenience’ lovers.

So, you see — its not really the person that is loved it’s the fact that the person is capable of putting up with an extreme amount of garbage, is able to take the back seat, won’t be emotionally needy, lets them get away with what they want and is able to sustain themselves through the boredom cycles of abuse when they have to pick on their mate to eliminate that boredom. None of that is actually the person — it’s that they get to do what they want and have no obstacles or resistance and the person will put up with it.

So, if psychopaths actually loved a person for their characteristics then they might see that it’s possible to love someone for who they are rather than for them taking the psychopaths crap.

Often however, the things that make a person unique are the traits the psychopath view as weak and want to grind out of that individual. They slowly kill the thing in that individual which allows for that individual to tolerate them. They grind out the ‘weakness’ until that person can’t stand to be around them anymore and then they lose the one they love because they are no longer the embodiment of those aforementioned traits

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